Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
