All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
