here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize