note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
