its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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