I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
