just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
