My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
