I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
