THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
