I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
