ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
