Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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