Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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