Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
