I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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