yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
you guys were way drunker than both of me
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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