we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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