You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Randomize
