My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
