TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
