It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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