Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
So vagazzling was a success
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
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