I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
