Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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