Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
another moral hangover. fuck.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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