3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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