Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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