Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
