official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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