Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Randomize
