You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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