Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
