i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize