its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize