If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
