Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
