eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
