No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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