First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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