There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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