y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
