And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
