This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
