so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize