Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
