Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
