"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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