haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
