She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
