Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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