I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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