please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize