i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
