So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
