Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
