Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
