Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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