OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
