what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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