That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
