My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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