I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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