It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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