and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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