I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I want a musical about memes.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
