He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
