Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
