How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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