if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
